Today I almost died

Today, I almost died.

On the way home from my workout, I took an exit to the right on the highway that led me into a downhill curved ramp. The road was wet. Halfway into the curve, I felt my car sliding towards the outside. I turned my wheel slightly towards the inside but my back tires completely gave and my car started turning until it was perpendicular to the road and I was facing a large field. I turned my wheel back to the outside to straighten out the car but before I knew it, I was looking at the pole of a street light. I remember during the macroseconds before the collision, everything slowed. I became so aware of every little detail. I remember the exact shade of grey of the pole and how it wasn't rounded but was hexagonal or something, with several flat surfaces. The only thing I could hear was my own voice saying "I'm going to die". I guess this is the part where people say their life flashed before their eyes. Time definitely slowed enough for me to reflect on my life. Problem is, I didn't see anything.

So when my car collided with the pole and knocked it to the ground, the airbags exploded out, and the car finally stopped, I got out out the car immediately, uninjured and could not believe what had happened. When time slowed, it gave my mind and body preparation to what was to come, and after it had happened, I don't think I have ever been so calm before. First thing I did was call my dad and said "I totalled the car, I'm so sorry!" Then I called Kevin and waved down a police office that was nearby. I gathered everything that was valuable (including my foam roller) and took pictures of the scene. It scared me how I could even keep myself together at that point.

There were firefighters, paramedics, and police officers on site. I had managed to block off the whole road and cars had to go off-road. I felt bad for causing such a scene. Luckily, everyone was really nice about it. One of the firefighters, Kyle, stayed with me for the most part and was surprised by how composed I was. He gave me a blanket and even got permission to let me sit in the firetruck. Ironically, he said it was my lucky day. But I'm alive, so I suppose he isn't all wrong. He was pretty good-looking, and I may have been guilty of flirting with him. Slightly.

What if I had died? What would people have said about me at my funeral? Sitting in the firetruck, I almost made the decision to quit school and get on the next plane to a foreign country. I want my friends and family to say great things about me and talk about all my achievements. But then I thought, "hey, maybe this is a sign from the universe to study even harder". Afterall, being a vet is my biggest life goal right now. So maybe I'd be ok with "Fiona died at the age of 20, while pursuing her life goal of becoming a veterinarian". I may not have made it there, but I would have definitely been on my way. If I had died then and there, I'd be fine. This made me realize how content with my life I am. Who am I kidding? My life is awesome.

It's a good thing I made that turn back to the outside of the curve. I hit the pole head on; evidence shows the collision happened right at the middle of my car. If I had not turned, the collision would have been on the driver's side, and would have probably killed me. So maybe that's why my life didn't flash before my eyes. It just wasn't my time.

In other words, it's fucking good to be alive.